i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
