Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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