Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
