All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Also, beer. Big fan.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
