...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
