Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Randomize
