It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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