I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
