Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
