I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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