I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
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