A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
