the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
