I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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