my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
