I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
