ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
