Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
