I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
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