DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
