I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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