it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
