I'm lost and stupid without you.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
