I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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