Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
