i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
