No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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