Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
The Olympian is in my bed
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
