I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
