did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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