honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Please don't give away my fajitas
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize