he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
