She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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