Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
