he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
it hurts more in the daytime
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
