East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
