She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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