google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
