I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
