I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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