Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
