If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
