Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
