and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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