She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
