OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
operation harelip BJ is a go
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
