last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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