But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
