Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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