dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
