So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
