Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
