her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
