I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize