ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
