Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
