He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
If that was your dad, he is hot
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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