and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
